Friday, November 6, 2009

not technophobic... technology is rose-phobic.

Why oh why technology do you hate me?
It's incredibly ironic that I'm trying to have a blog, on the internet, on a computer machine, using electricity. None of it goes properly for me. I have a theory that perhaps I'm magnetic? And the electronical apparatuses simply go berserk and cataclysmic whenever I approach.
Again, it's incredibly ironic that I have a job that requires me to use a computer for 75% of the duties I'm paid to carry out.
I try to communicate with my boyfriend online, as he's rather far away, but forsooth, these magic boxes refuse to allow me to email properly (I always send the same email 4 times, or not at all, or to the wrong people), Instant Messenging is out of the question because of the poor internet where he is, so for all practical purposes, it's almost as slow as just emailing.
Then we have phones to further complain about... My cellphone has almost made me cry a few times. If any other human being picks up my phone and attempts a text, call, or photo, it is a cooperative little beast. But whenever I touch it, it suddenly sees no value or beauty in life and deletes everything and tries, in a digital, infuriating manner of changing screens and powering down strangely, to slit its wrists and bid goodbye to the cruel world.
Don't even get me started on toasters and microwaves. ooooh.

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